My handle is Art4Mag; I am a 44yr old female. I am a disabled Veteran who works on my love for creating art (painting acrylic on canvas) and writing.

My then husband first infected me in the early spring of 1989. We really did not know each other that well when we got married. Unfortunately, I did not know that much about the Herpes Virus at that time either. 

I remember when I first suspected something. One time when we were making love I touched his penis and I felt a rough area. When I asked him about the rough skin he blew it off as just an allergy to the laundry detergent. I suspected something was very wrong because if the abrasions were truly from the detergent then why was he still using the same laundry detergent he always used while we were together. 

I was extremely intimidated by this man. The way he acted toward me after we got married, the way he treated my children from my first husband, and the half answers I got from him were all an indication that there was no trust from him. As a matter of fact, I though that he was hiding something from me all of the time.

Numerous untrustworthy things happened during our togetherness that clearly indicated in my mind that we really did not belong together. After we separated was when I first had an outbreak. The pain!! I was obviously more aware and feeling more like my suspicions were on target that something serious was wrong. I went to a doctor and received the devastating news of my infection with Herpes Virus II.

Just like most people who suffer with the fact that Herpes is an attachment of their life, I too suffer often with my STD status in life. You see, I will not lie at any cost.. Period. So my intimate partners are only in my fantasy dreamland where I can say I am Okay, I do not have Herpes, I don't have to put up a shield of fact every time I meet someone who I'd like to become closer than friends with.

Just like as a terminally ill patient wants a cure before death, I long for the day when my Herpes Virus becomes a thing of the past. Completely curable.