Occupation: Administrative Assistant
Year Infected: 1997
Prodromes: Itchy, tingly and sometimes burning when I urinate
Method of Control: Healthy diet, Prayer & exercise try not stress.
My Story: I was 17 at a graduation party with my a close friend at her brother's house. I got drunk for the first time. Her brother offered me a drink (he was 23) and I accepted. He mixed Vodka and GHB (I did not know until later that he used GHB) I blacked out. When I woke up I felt someone on top of me. My friend's brother was raping me. I screamed for help, but no one heard me because of the loud music.
He held my wrist and would not let go. I began to cry. I blacked out again. The next thing I knew I was at his sister's home and it was the next day. I called a cab before anyone ever woke up at her home. I rushed into the shower. I have only been with one other person. I felt so dirty, filthy and totally disgusted! I felt I could never wash away the filth. I cried the whole time. I was so upset. He had completely violated me. I never felt so ashamed in my life.
I was a great teen. I went to Church daily (except on Sat.) made the honor roll & never got into trouble with the law. I said over and over again. How could this happen to me!!! I don't deserve this! The next day he called me and said he wanted to see me I refused with tears and later I received many threats if I told. I was so afraid I did not go to the doctor until 2 months later because I did not feel right down there.
The doctor took a culture and I was positive for HSV. I could not believe it! First, I was raped then he gave me HSV! I wanted to die when I got home. I could not cry because I was in shocked! It all seemed unreal to me at the time. I was depressed for about a year and a half. I have never experienced these things in my life. I was so young and I thought I would never be with a guy again. So I got closer to Jesus and he became my best friend after that.
I did not date until 3 years after that happened. Every time I feel like we were headed to the sexual stage I would make up an excuse of why I could not be with the guy and dump him. I can never date a guy past 6 months because I'm so afraid of rejection.
I just stay to myself and go to work and Church. I pray that I find a guy that can accept me. There is a guy that works with me (he works the night shift and I work the day shift) who I have been really looking at for 11 months that I am interested in. I know I will find the courage from somewhere and hopefully he can accept me the way I am.
Telling: I have not told anyone. This is my first testimony and I'm so proud of myself because I finally open up! Read the other's tell there story and I just knew I had to tell mine to let other people know that they are not alone.