Name: Pariah Carey
My story: I had been celibate by choice for two years, and developed an interest in a co-worker. There was a strong and mutual physical attraction, and I acted foolishly, permitting him to perform oral sex in a rather unusual area. The next day, we had unprotected intercourse (and as a consequence of this, I may, at this time of writing, be pregnant, and intend to abort if so). The day following that, I began to develop my outbreak in
the perineal area. Hurt like a bitch, especially on urination. I am employed in the medical field and had a pretty good idea what it was, but literally sat on it for over a week. When it was diagnosed, I was devastated. I am still not certain if I am dealing with it productively, or at all, for it is in the back of my mind always.
The man who gave it to me stated that he had always had cold sores, one malady I had managed to escape, placing me in what I understand to be the minority. He had none visible at the time of inoculation. At the first, I was furious and reeling from what I felt to be betrayal. Slowly, I calmed down, and can relate to him as a friend, but any sexual
contact is out of the question. With anyone. I have never been a particularly sexual person, and now that sexuality is pretty much removed from my life, I don't know whether relief is what I should be feeling.
Telling: I can't imagine ever getting close enough to anyone to have to tell them. I couldn't live with giving H to someone I cared about (rapists are quite another story), but as of now cannot conceive of being in a position to have to disclose my condition.