Name: SEAN (sadinvegas)
year infected: ? diagnosed 2004
Type: Herpes simplex 2
Outbreaks: 2 so far.
Prodromes: tingling, itching
Method of Control: Valtrex, diet and exercise.
My Story: I had been sexually irresponsible most of my adult life. I could not even guess as to how many women I have slept with, so I certainly do not feel victimized. The diagnosis has compelled me to accept responsibility for my salacious lifestyle and learn from the many mistakes I have made. I have had to come to terms with the pain I have inflicted upon others by living a "Sam Malone" lifestyle. It is as if karma has finally caught up with me and I have to now grapple with the consequences of my actions. I also have to live with the fact that I may have infected others unknowingly, a fact that is so difficult to swallow.
I hope grow and change as a result of this virus. I have no choice, but to be completely upfront and honest about my diagnosis. I am not sure how or when I will reach the point of being able to function on an interpersonal level. It has been just a few months and I would not know how to be in any type of relationship. I do know that time spent alone would be well served for me at this juncture. Time to process and take an inventory of where I am and what brought me here.
It is a strange place to be. You want to feel bad and sorry for yourself, but you know would be completely unjustified in doing so. My irresponsibility brought me to this place. My perpetual need to make poor choices based on ephemeral qualities has a role in my acquiring the virus. It is ironic that my future will only have room for genuine honesty which my past had little use for.
Telling: I had to tell the last Woman I was with before discovering I had HSV-2. She was also HSV-2 Positive. We were both tested and it was impossible to tell who had acquired the virus first. That closure will never come. We have remained friends I try to offer all the support and hope I can. Should I ever venture out "there" again, I will tell and I will update my bio. I have told a few dear friends with good results. I find I need to educate them a great deal. I do need to forgive myself before I will able to ever date and tell someone I care about. I will say that this virus had produced some changes in me that were a long time coming.